Retro Review: Sly Cooper PS2

once again I pull myself to review a rather old game...
the game I chose this time was abysmal and has had several sequels.
NO, you dumb fucks, its NOT FUCKING HALO or about shooting fellow retards like yourself. its about anthropomorphic yiffing, that's right, its Sly fucking Cooper!
I wish I could have reviewed and actual GOOD game like Shadow of the Colossus, but NO, I couldn't get in enough play time because I had to give my computer mouth to mouth resuscitation while I was desperately tryng to beat the 6th colussi with my toe nails this morning. I'm so fricking happy, I feel like I could rape a goat!
after I wiped half the memory on my hard drive, I realized my firewall was down and I was hacked like the fucking matrix, now I'm raping TWO goats, I'm so damn pleased -_-
back to the review! I've replayed this game several times so I know what I'm talking about when I say: "kill me NOW". who in their right minds would make such a game? sucker punch, obviously, those perverted bastards!

Rape face alert! RAPE FACE ALERT!!

as the game starts its your job to break into a racist frog-dwarf's house and steal his oversized keys for revenge after he and his butt-buddys killed the main character's parents years ago for stealing their meth book. this is where I turned off the console and ate a bag of dry fruit loops while watching "I am Legend" for the 37th time this year, after I finished my "super happy fun time" in front of the TV, I put on my lucky socks and my snazzy fedora and turned the PS2 on again so I could play Gran Turismo 4, but I forgot to put in the right game and had already gotten comfy in my emo corner, so I threw caution to the wind and started playing Sly cooper. 10 hours and a full bladder later, I beat the game, found all the fucking clue bottles, got all the powerups, passed the time trials with flying colors and saved the day. whoop de freaking doo. honestly, I started to wonder why I didn't force my younger brother to get off his ass and change the game for me about 3 hours in. then I remembered that he was a prick. the voices were about as good as those in Ico and had about the same frame rate minus the FUN. after I beat the game, I cried because it was so damn bad that I would never be able to stop imagining Sly plowing the latino/mexican fox cop woman's face with his little winky while screaming his turtle buddy's name over and over. to put it bluntly, this game isn't about a thief and his orphan teammates, this is about fag-mosexual yiffing and I give it a 3 out of 10. I bet the only reason anybody bought this game was because they wanted to see the fox pleasuring herself, but that's for another review and another website. so I say to my happy go ducky readers, don't play this game, its about as stupid as your mothers, give or take a few IQ points.